Shhhh...

...... ... .....

You hear that? ... ....

Nah, neither do I.

They say that absolute silence doesn’t exist, because where there’s life- there’s noise. And I suppose they’re right. I live a pretty crazy, loud life most of the time- so much music in every way, shape, and form.. so many different people-filled places.. and most of it has the volume cranked to 11.

But sometimes I get a little break and the noise dies down a bit. I was laying in bed a few mornings ago.. thinking.. watching the clock.. wondering if I had anything to do that would make leaving warm, cozy Blanket Sea worth it.. and then I closed my eyes and realized how eerily silent it had just gotten. I looked back at the clock and saw only black. The power had gone out again, as it often does around here, and I can almost always tell even when I’m not using any electricity.. because the house gets SO quiet.

It was so refreshing just to kinda lose myself for awhile. It didn’t matter what time it was, I couldn’t be tempted to turn on the stereo or the TV.. I didn’t have any distraction of the outside world at all. Just me and my thoughts, which were almost suppressed because I was so subconsciously ‘focused’ on the absence of noise. It’s funny how total silence can claim your attention like that- almost like the less noise there is, the louder it can seem. The Silent Band, as I call it. Or maybe it’s just too unsettling to the mind, because we’re so used to all the noise always around us.

I loved the feeling of this sound-less bliss, so as the weather got brighter and warmer, I regrouped outside. Laying on lawn.. enjoying the last gorgeous, lazy, 70-degree day of the season (the cold just HAD to finally find the South..) .. listening to only sounds of the nature around me, it became a much-needed worry-free day in imagination land. The autumn breeze blowing the leaves around the yard was so calming as I let one of the few quieter moments in life renew my mind.

Thinking is so much better when all you have is thought. The fewer things around you for your mind to take notice of, the better. I hung around outside for awhile longer and watched the clouds and I started to let my mind wander back into its normal raging waters, but the flow of thought was so much more bearable now. I went for a walk, without my headphones on (which is pretty rare).. and I thought about where I’ve recently been in life, and where I saw my life going. I have a feeling that the thoughts I pulled from that will give me plenty to ponder later on, but at least I got things started off right.

I guess I tell you this to remind you, and myself, to take a few minutes and let the world around you shut down. It’s hard for me to get away from people long enough, or to keep music far from my ears for long, but whenever I do.. it’s so refreshing to the mind, the body, and the soul. So take a moment today, listen to The Silent Band play for awhile.. you’ll be so glad you did.

Until next time… Enjoy the silence.

....

~Em-Jae.

6 x 615 = ...

Last weekend marked my ‘6 years in the 615’. I celebrate my Nashville anniversary every year, and reminiscing is always such a great mind-trip. It was an awesome weekend filled with good times, great friends, and probably a few too many drinks- ALL things that make my life in Nashville what it is. ;)

*Thanks Jesse and Anna for a really great Anniversary weekend!! :)

Every mid-November, I remember my move to Tennessee in 2004. But this year was a little different than the others- it was the first year that I really had to force my thoughts to think about the years here in retrospective. Lately, I’ve been focusing my mind on where I’m going, and what the years ahead will bring.

But part of where you’re going is knowing where you’re coming from, so I spent some time lately reflecting on these last 6 years- from the start. They’ve been 6 years of adulthood- living on my own, learning lots of life-lessons, finding people and adventures that have completely changed my life, and finding MYSELF.

It’s crazy how much a person can change in just a few years, but it’s not hard to believe with how dramatic your surroundings change. I moved right after high school at 17 from a small town in midwestern Minnesota to a capital city in the South, got my first place where I lived alone, my first car (that’s still goin’ strong!!), and learned the joys and pains of life past the age of 18. The good, the bad, and the ugly of the years since I relocated my entire life have totally morphed me into a new person. I subconsciously changed the way I lived, how I looked.. and my personality did a 180-spin in what I feel is a much better direction. Some days, it’s really hard for Emjae to even remember Melissa Jean at all..

*What would ''2010 emjae' have to say to '2004 melissa jean'?? hmm..

But thanks to being a writer through the years, I’ve been able to look back through my journals and see how things have changed my face, my heart, and my life. I remember laying awake in Minnesota the night before I moved here, scribbling my unsure and excited thoughts in my notebook. 2 guys that I had never met (but who have since become amazing friends in my life) were on their way to pick me up and take me away, to a distant place and a new future working in the Nashville music biz- something I’d always dreamed of. My insomnia befriended me in a new way that night, as I tried to imagine just how much my life was about to change.

*My first house here in town. What a palace, eh?

That first season in Nashville was tough, but fun. I made more mistakes than I can count, but the adventure of life on my own (something I’d been waiting for since I was probably 7..) was worth every part of it. And as my Nashville life hit its different stages, I learned how to function in the real world, and how the real world can wreck you to the point of barely being able to function at all. But right from my first visit to this town, it felt like HOME, and I knew I needed to be here. And soon after my short first trip to Music City in 2003, fate had its way with me and I got an offer to live and work in a city that fits me perfectly. I didn’t even give it a second thought, and I was on my way..

*First weekend trip to Nashville in 2003..

The night before I left for Tennessee, I went for a drive and saw one of the most amazing displays of the Northern Lights that I’d ever seen (something I REALLY miss about the night sky. The south needs Southern Lights I think..) I stopped and just sat outside on top of the car and stared up at the stars and the swirling beams of color.. thinking more fiercely than I had at that time of my life, but taking the amazing lights as a beautiful sign that everything was going to be ok, and that I was making a good move. And I think I was right. I couldn’t imagine where my life would have been on any other path..

*Greetings from Nashville- 2006.

Because after 6 years, I still feel like this is where I’m meant to be (as a home base anyways.. I’m realizing I’m sometimes more into a come-and-go, on-the-road lifestyle). Nashville has taken my life so far- I’m extremely thankful for all I’m blessed with and real excited to see what the next few years will throw at me. I’ve seen a lot here over the years- so many friendships, great bands and shows, tours and odd jobs, hardships, possibilities.. What a ride..

So- Happy 6^th Anniversary, Nashville. I started a new life with you years ago, and I plan on stickin’ with ya for years to come… If it’s in the stars that is. But wherever life takes me, I’ll always remember the road we’ve walked together. Cheers!


As the adventure continues,

~Melissa-Jean.

Scary Sweet Memories

What do you get when you cross a zombie, a punk, and a 60’s flower-child hippie?

…

..While I also would have accepted the answer of ‘a mixed-up Village People tribute band’, I have gotta say that the aforementioned made for a really awesome 2010 Halloween season in MJ-world.

I spent some time this week wrapping up all-things-Halloween. Packing away the costume bin, bleaching out stubborn red hair dye, editing and posting pictures (of course..) and composting my jack-o-lantern that did not age too gracefully. But I’m already finding myself thinking about the tricks and treats that next year will bring.

Halloween is my all-time favorite holiday. I’m not a big fan of autumn (it’s just always been to me a season where everything dies and turns cold..), but the holiday at the end of October always eases me into the change (and now there’s Zombie Day too!!) I love costumes, scary movies, black cats, and too much candy. And Halloween covers it all.

Strange as it may seem, Halloween also gives me the same sort of ‘home and family’ vibe that Christmas brings to most people. It was a special holiday even while I was growing up. My mom would take my brother and me to each pick out our own perfect pumpkin, and carving it was something I really looked forward to (that goopy feeling of reaching in and grabbing pumpkin guts is just awesome for some reason..). Halloween night, we’d all sit down at the table for supper (a VERY rare happening in my family) and have the exact same thing every year- a Tombstone pizza, cottage cheese, and Dr. Pepper. (Healthy, huh?..) Then, we’d get costumed up while watching the newest ‘Treehouse of Horror’ Simpsons Halloween Special and then go out trick or treating- visiting every house in town that had its yardlight on. Afterwards, my brother and I dumped out our candy bags on the living room floor, sorted everything into piles (except the duck foot I got one year from my grandpa, wasn’t sure how to categorize that one..), spent forever deciding on the perfect trades (Skittles are worth a Crunch AND a 100Grand. FYI.), and then pigged out while watching horror flicks for the rest of the night. Perfect. And every year, those same good feelings come back. I’ve gotta start going back home to my family for the Halloween holiday season..

I always had SO much fun thinking of and putting together a costume. Getting into the look and character of someone other than yourself is lots of fun. I’ve been remembering lots of the crazy things I’ve been over the years… A shadow, Swamp thing’s girlfriend (most sloppy costume award), an Egyptian, a black cat (yep, complete with my mom’s homemade mask and tail), an 80’s glam rocker, a ghostly prom queen, a 15-year old 5-year old (my excuse to color on my face with markers..), the masked killer guy from Scream (which is a mask I also wore with my black gown on graduation day, haha), Kung-Fu Panda, and a billion other things in my 20-some years of celebrating ‘wear a costume’ day. It’s so awesome to pretend to be someone/something else for a while, and going out to see everyone else’s getups is a blast. I wish there were more dress-up days during the year! I’m gonna start having costume parties. It’ll be awesome..

But until I get that going, I’ll be keeping my eyes on the calendar and waiting for the next October 31^st to roll around. Cheers to the sweetest and spookiest holiday of the year!!

In and out of disguise,
~emjae.