Goodbye 23.

Today, I’m 23 years old. But that won’t be true tomorrow. I can’t quite explain it, but 23 is all I’ve ever wanted to be. When I was younger, I’d dream of 23. I used to listen to songs about being 23, my favorite number was 23 (but with the wish for luck, I’ve added a 7 and MY number became 237..) and even before that movie “the Number 23”, I’ve had a fascination with it. It just felt… PERFECT.

I always believed that when I finally turned 23, something significant would happen. On one hand, I thought it was the start of what life really was. Maybe I would get married, or start the job I’d always wanted, or cross a giant event off of my “to-do before I die” list. Well, I’m not married, I am not working much of a job at all, and my “to-do before I die” list just seems to keep getting things added to it.

On the other hand, I used to think maybe 23 was all there was. As good as it gets. The best it would ever be. I’ve always had a big fear of the clock. Always wishing I could find a way to control time. And if I could, I would stay this age forever and never grow another day. My mind of the past, which wasn’t always an entirely sane one, used to tell me that after being 23, there wasn’t anything more. And that when the day of 24 finally came, the game of life would be over. And in that time of my life, I was fine with the thought. Live fast, die young, hang on to youth, and maybe to just remain in the naïve joy of this ‘ignorance is bliss’ stage of life, a freedom we know to be our early 20s.

Of course when I thought that, 23 was a distant light at the end of a tunnel. Now that 24 lies just beyond this evening, I couldn’t be more excited to see what’s on the other side. I feel like my life is really just beginning. And maybe that’s what 23 is. A new start, even without one of the significant things I thought would mark this point in life. Turn your walk into a run, begin a whole new path (although keeping the memory of roads once traveled), and finally start learning what life is all about.

For some people, 18 is the age of freedom. For others, 21. For me, it was 23. My doorway to the life I was made for and have been trained for. And I can’t wait to wake up tomorrow, stare 24 in the eyes, and say “I’ve been waiting for you. I’m ready. Show me what you got…”