Seasons of Change.

The snow is falling, the season’s changed;
The future’s calling, for a life rearranged.

This I know, and I’ve known for awhile- that everyone’s life goes through seasons. Warm, sunny times. Cold and rainy times. Upward mountains and downward valleys. … No matter what stage you’re at in life, things are going to keep changing, and there are gonna always be good parts and bad parts.

Lately for me, I’ve begin to lose focus as to exactly what’s good and what’s bad. The valleys have become more treacherous, and the mountains don’t seem as substantial. The sun seems colder and time in my mind gets dark too soon. It’s like I’m going into a winter stage of life..

The last few weeks of my life were just like the autumn season we’ve been in. Lots of the changes that were happening seemed positive and beautiful at the time- like the cooling relief from the summer heat, or the leaves on the trees becoming brilliant new colors. But after awhile, the direction my life started going has been losing its luster and I realized that it might not be for the best like it seemed.

And now my life feels like it’s going thru another change, a harsher one. Like winter. Lots of things are dying away, or being forced into hibernation. The colored leaves have fallen to the ground and I really can’t wait for the cold air to warm back up again. But winter is a time for renewal I think.. the things that aren’t meant to last any longer will freeze away, and lots of things come to a standstill- like they are figuring out how to come back bigger and better in the Springtime.

So if this also is winter of my life, it’s time for me to hibernate for a little bit. Let go of the things I need to let go of, and do some thinking and growing so, come Spring, I’ll be a new person.. stronger, better, and with a more beautiful look to life than before. To help kick-off this newfound sense of needing a change, I’m heading ‘back to the beginning’ by taking a little break from Nashville life and spending the next few months in Minnesota. The small, frozen place I grew up, but am happy to have gotten away from.. but also where it feels I need to be for a season of life right now.

It's the road less traveled for a reason..

I know that a change of scenery will be refreshing to me (I’ve been kinda itchin’ to just get out, ANYwhere..) and I’m hoping that time with family and friends from the past will also help get my mind more completely back to where it needs to be. A few recent happenings in my life have opened lots of doors in my thoughts, causing so many sparks to fly in my head and my heart. I feel like a new person, but that new person is only temporary until a completely new person can take over. I feel like I’ve had a ‘change of self’ before, a few years after moving to Nashville. I didn’t see it happening, but I knew when I was a different person. This time, I can feel like the same thing is going to happen, although I’m fully aware of the process, and am more in control of where things end up. Which is a bit stressful, but exciting. When you’re looking for a change in your life, going into the unknown doesn’t seem as scary..

So this is goodbye Nashville, from the me that you know. If this winter goes well, the me that comes back next spring will be so much different, for the better. And Minnesota, it’s good to be back. Get ready. …and feel free to keep the temperature above zero for at least a few days. I’m ready to go through a metaphorical winter in my mind, but I don’t need to be frostbitten in real life...

Cheers to this new season. ..now bring on the Springtime.
~Emjae.